How a 10-Minute Job Interview Sent me to Therapy
Rewind to 20 minutes before the interview. I’m texting with my best friend who’s in Prague at the moment. I wanted a distraction since I’d already spent hours studying for the job interview.
What’s your best quality?
My value in relationships really sets me apart from other candidates. My mom has always told me my dedication to maintaining friendships was something she admired about me and I think it serves me in my career as well.
What’s your biggest weakness?
My focus and commitment to getting things done can make me impatient, and it’s something I’ve been working on.
Where do you see yourself in 5 years?
Hopefully not whoring myself out in job interviews for the same freakin’ salary.
….
We had been talking about my fear of salary negotiations and not feeling like I am worth my asking price.
Her response was blunt, brutal and full of love: ‘This is why em needs to go back to therapy!!’
I noted this idea, and tucked that in my back pocket as I headed into the interview, ready to sell myself like a prostitute.
It took only about five minutes before the recruiter told me while I had great experience, it wasn’t the kind they were looking for in this role.
I made a limp attempt to save things.
‘I think I have the transferable skills to really succeed in this and I’m looking for a challenge!’
But it was too late. It was clear the interview was over and that I could reach out to her if there was a role more suited to my background.
As I hung up, I laughed. Just f***in howled at the hours I spent preparing for nothing.
I texted my friend/mentor to tell him what had happened and he told me ‘Don’t be discouraged by this.’
But I am. Not because I think I missed out on my dream job, I never felt that way about the role.
But I thought maybe this was the next piece of the puzzle, the one that gets me just a little closer to the complete picture of myself.
I feel like I’m always fighting to be seen as something other than what people recognize me as.
I realized I’ve felt like this my whole life: trying to prove to people that I’m smart or that I’m fun.
And I’m just so tired because maybe I can’t prove something to other people that I don’t believe myself.
It’s a cliché of an identity crisis but I think that’s what my friend was telling me. I have to be my biggest advocate; some magic idea or job won’t do it for me.
And I’m tired. I’m really tired and I just want to be okay.
So, I guess, my next interview will be a little different and hopefully I’ll get more than 10 minutes to sell myself.
What’s an accomplishment you’re proud of?
TBD.
